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The Last Hoorah
Episode #17 (Updated December 29, 2017)
by Charles Reuben
Edited by Linda Schwebke
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9:45 p.m. This evening I attended a marionette show “Stars on a String,” a non-stop show that unfolds number after number to delight and thrill audiences.

I saw a puppet blow up a balloon and listened to a stage band of tiny marionettes perform a concert. I watched a hot female doll do a strip tease to the music, “I’m too sexy for my shirt,” and I delighted at the sight of a dancing skeleton who became disjointed and then put himself back together again (my favorite).

Then there was a Scottish puppet playing the bagpipes, another one playing the xylophone, and yet another who pulled a tiny puppet out of a box and made him dance for us. In all, I enjoyed the company of over 20 puppets who underwent many costume changes.

Mom went to bed early, so I went to the puppet show alone, but she’s having a great time, doing what little she can. This cruise comes at a great time for Mom: She recently completed a stressful and physically exhausting relocation from a retirement home in Sun City to one in Pasadena.

Mom’s getting plenty of rest and relaxation on the boat, especially now that she’s found a secluded place to rest on the tenth floor right at the front of the ship, in the shade, away from the screaming kids. That’s all she really wants- a little peace and quiet.

The weather in this tropical Caribbean paradise could not be more perfect. It’s well into the 80’s with blue skies and gentle waters. Unfortunately, I’m breaking out in fungus all over my torso but managing to it keep it in check with all my potions, salves and medications.

I didn’t say anything about last night’s show, “Jump, Jive and Rock and Roll” starring Trisa Jackson and Daniel Jackson, a husband and wife team backed by the talented Celebrity Horizon Dancers. Mom thought most of it was all just a lot of noise, but she’s always felt that way about rock and roll for as long as I can remember.

The music review featured a broad spectrum of music that ranged from a patriotic rendition of George M Cohan's “Over There” all the way to Huey Lewis' “Back in Time” (from the movie Back to the Future). The live orchestra had it together, the costumes were intricate and dazzling, and the dancing was pure perfection. What a treat!

Mom sat patiently through the whole performance and sang along to “You Must Have Been a Beautiful Baby.” I crooned along to Don McLean’s “American Pie.”

The seas are getting a bit rough out there. Think I’ll head out and check out the evening’s entertainment......

12:30 a.m. Wednesday Morning Dec. 26

Hot! Hot! Hot! That’s what I am! I Just got back from the Holiday Island Celebration! The festivities began at 11:15 with the Caribbean Band Party Band “Logic” opening to an empty dance floor. I thought “what a waste” and immediately got on the floor and began dancing. A few crew members joined in, and then a few brave passengers got up. Time went by, and before we knew it, about 50 people were bobbing around us.

The cruise director took the stage and asked if anybody wanted to learn the Macarena and after we hooted and howled our approval, he taught us the moves. It wasn’t that hard really and with someone to follow, it was even easier. Before long, we were all doing the Macarena!

Next came “the world’s longest conga line.” Since I was one of the first hundred, a member of the crew placed a beautiful red lei around my neck. We danced all around the deck, and when we returned to our starting point, we took turns doing the limbo.

Then we danced the penny, nickel, dime and dollar song which was really obscene with our hips bobbing back and forth. Next came the “electric slide” which got me so heated up and sweating so profusely that a member of the crew offered me his handkerchief. I thought it was great service!

I figured he thought I was going to have a heart attack and wanted to help me dry my sweat and cool down. Nope! It turns out I was chosen as a finalist in the “blindfold electric slide contest,” and that turned out to be a gas! Everybody was bumping into each other, and as far as I can tell, I made it to the semifinals before I fell into disfavor with the judges and was booted out.

Oh well! I must have danced for an hour and a half, and by the time I was done, I was drenched in sweat. Now I’m back in my cabin listening to Mom snore, and I'm thinking, gee, what a great time I had tonight!

The ship is rocking and rolling, and I am exhausted. Now I’ve got to hit the hay: Big day tomorrow!

This marks the end of the SEVENTEENTH installment of "The Last Hoorah." If you'd like to start from the beginning, then please click this page.

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